Sometimes, change is what we need. Adjusting to change can be difficult but the optimist in me says, " don't be afraid of change, its leading you to a new beginning". Some of you may or may not know our story, about 6 years ago, Marc and I had the experience of helping his parents transition.

And when I say transition, I mean LIFE CHANGING for everyone involved. Most of the time it was challenging. We went from taking care of them ourselves (7 days a week, baths, diaper changes, feeding, physical therapy, mental therapy and more) to hospice and finally an assisted living facility.

Our lives changed dramatically when we FINALLY transitioned Dad to a life-enriching independent living facility. It was hard coming to that decision, but shortly after Mom had passed we helped him make the move. It wasn't easy convincing him that this was the best option. Parents can be stubborn and often don't want to disrupt or change the way they have been living for the past 70 years. Reflecting back, it was the best decision we could have ever made, holding a bit of regret for not having done it sooner.

If you are finding yourself in the same scenario and just don't know where to start....here is our story and tips on how to find an assisted living facility for your parents.

Think of it as finding a day care for your first born child. 
The facility you choose will be their new home and more than likely were they will take their last breaths.

The Manse on Marsh
But moreover, this is the place where your parent(s) will be able to flourish in their old age. A good facility will develop a plan that meets the needs of your parents while still giving them the freedom to do what they can for themselves.

Starting the Assisted Living Facility Search

  1. Google it - type in "Assisted Living Facilities in (Your City)"
  2. Ask For Referrals - fortunately we had hospice care for Mom and we reached out to the resources of hospice for recommendations on assisted living. You can also ask their primary physician.
Once you have found your resources of options you can schedule a tour. Considering the emotional process we went out and looked at the facilities first, when we found the right fit we scheduled a second tour to show Dad. We approached it as 'let's just go see what they have to offer and if you don't like it then we keep looking until we find one that you like'. We pointed out solutions to his hot points, his needs and a place that matches most to what he had access to at HOME.

They say to start looking at assisted living about 6 months before your parents will actually need it, for us it was more of a need right away and making the decision quickly. 

What To Look For While Touring Assisted Living Facilities

Activities at The Manse on Marsh
  1. Pay Attention To Staff Interaction - are they friendly and compassionate? How do they engage with current residents? How many people are involved in residents' care? Meet the management team, it is important that you have confidence in the staff at the facility you choose. 
  2. Think About Your Parent's Current and Future Needs - What are the levels of care they offer? How long can a resident stay? Is there adequate wheelchair access and ramps? Do they have wheelchair escorts? 
  3. Does the Facility Offer What Is Most Important To Your Loved One? - Sit down with your parents and ask them, we might think we know...but giving them options and providing solutions to their current situation makes it easier for the transition. For us the important factors were convenience to stores he visits regularly, transportation, close to Dr.'s offices and most importantly good food and cleanliness. 
  4. Visit the Facility During An Activity - Look at the activity calendar for the month, would your loved one enjoy any of them? Is the activity well attended by residents? Does the staff enjoy the activity as well? Do they have field trips and outings away from the facility? 
    Dining at The Manse
  5. Go With Your Gut!! - Both guts - try a meal or two. And when you get those butterflies that say this is the one (trust me you will) then go for it. For us it was the best decision we could have made, it gave us the opportunity to take a step back from care giving and enjoy what we had no idea would be Dad's last year. 
For us it was a little bit easier than most because we made the move to be close to Mom and Dad early on, so they were literally a 5 minute drive away. However, if you are out of town I would recommend you move them to a facility near you, easy access is so important during this time. 

The Manse on Marsh in San Luis Obispo is a wonderful place to stay.  Not only are they an award-winning independent and assisted living facility but you won't have to worry about moving your parents again if their condition worsens.

One of the only assisted living facilities on the central coast that offers a comprehensive care planning system, they evaluate your unique care situation whether it be medication management or bathing and grooming. This system assures that your loved one receives and pays only for the care and assistance required.

Other helpful resources during this time:





***We only write and feature posts on our blog that we are truly passionate about, we have personally been through this stage of life and want to share resources that can help others through this time. This post contains sponsored links from Perennial Relations.